Live Blogging: Pageant Farce, Walking Backwards
Good day all. Working from home today and have the world’s best public broadcaster in the background, reporting live and toadily (c/o the regime’s favourite gimp, Huw Edwards) on the State Opening of Parliament. I’m no informed observer of British politics (I leave that to the brilliant Samizdata) but this is great.
I was struck by the comment of one of the vox pops consulted, in which a lovely old lady opined that in a world of flux and uncertainty the royal pageant of the state opening was a rock of sureness and fastness. Bless. The glory of tradition, imparting the strange attractor of historical cohesion and public solidarity to the masses. Go and read The Daily Express, there’s a Diana story on pages one through nine.
Highlights:
Jack Straw, in his role as Leader of the House of Commons and hardcore socialist, ass-reaming the Defender of the Realm.
Household Cavalry officer – “My job is to follow the Queen … on my charger” [charger? it's a fucking horse]
The Duke of Norfolk – snorts in nasal equine style – “my family has been doing this since 1483″ (turns shotgun on self)
Geoff Hoon, unreconstructed trade unionist (until he became a barrister, anyway) – “the commons asserting its power over the aristocracy” – “this is the British Constitution on display” (that’s part of the problem, right?)
Huw interrupting a constructive debate on Stalinist Labour policies for some bloke taking his hat off.
Huw says “the mace … is in place”. Genius.
Black Rod (of course; google it for “interracial porn”)
Loads of ex-lefties dressed in ermine.
The Fairy Godmother from Shrek (non-MILF).
The Commons causing a commotion, smug in its role as, er, what does it do again?
Dennis Skinner. And Dennis Skinner.
William Hague – might be a Tory twat but I’d rather him than Cameron.
Huw fawning.
Jacqui Smith. Hot.
Any time someone says “Her Majesty”.
Queen’s Speech – read like she’s never seen it before – only the 57th time she’s done it, apparently (cue Huw orgasm) – looks like she’s reading from a funeral hymn-sheet – welfare reform – economic stability – reduce crime, enhance airport security – something about the judiciary – improve coroner service – strengthen border controls – “fair chance in life” – fight discrimination – gender imbalance – eradicate child poverty by 2020 – NHS constitution – constitutional renewal (interesting) – protect environment – manage marine resources – public access to coastline – committed to Northern Ireland – sustainable devolved government – EC climate change – NATO’s 60th – peace in the Middle East – continued progess in Iraq – nuclear Iran – President of Mexico (?) – 13 bills (Jeez. More?)
No mention of terrorism – probably the best part of Brown’s the whole ’speech’.
Jack Straw reasserting his communist roots (again) by bowing to the Queen whilst dressed in pirate costume.
More Huw (slightly muffled on account of having an entire royal ass around his ears)
Wheelchair Woman.
No mention of surveillance or media crackdowns. So much for transparency.
My principal regret is that Prince Philip the Macedonian of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg is not given a chance to address the nation. Although a diplomatic liability, at least the man has a sense of humour:
In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation.
The whole thing wonderful, symbolic, and utterly pointless. Baffled by talk of the ambassador’s eyebrow and the baroness’ finger. To use the language of our founders: plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.
